It’s about 6:30 in the morning, as usual I’m wide awake. I hardly
sleep a full eight hours at night. Normally I just lay here in my thoughts
which end up driving me crazy with frustrations over all the things I wish I could
do or could have done. I figured I’ll make some good use of this time awake by
starting my blog back up again. What better time to start then on the first day
of Scleroderma awareness month! So I’m going to try my best to post something every
day about this condition, disease, hell or whatever you want to call it.
Definition
Scleroderma is a progressive disease that affects
the skin and connective tissue (including cartilage, bone, fat, and the tissue that
supports the nerves and blood vessels throughout the body). There are two major
forms of the disorder. The type known as localized scleroderma mainly affects the
skin. Systemic scleroderma, which is also called systemic sclerosis, affects the
smaller blood vessels and internal organs of the body.
Guess who has “systemic sclerosis”? It feels like it affects
every single part of my body. There is not a moment where I am 100% pain free. Along
with the physical pain is the emotional and mental anguish of dealing with the
pain and watching my body get slowly disfigured. It’s very difficult right now
on so many levels, to write about this. I never had a problem before with
writing about my condition or anything really but this past year has been
really tough. I got to a point where I didn’t want to write anymore but God has
always been putting it in my heart to write. I never knew why or what about
until now I suppose. He has held me through all of my struggles, especially
with Scleroderma. Without Him I definitely wouldn’t be here still. I don’t know
what these blog posts will accomplish but He does so I’m putting my trust in
Him to share about my life with this disease. I hope it helps someone else who
is struggling because I have a feeling that it’s going to be some sort of
healing process for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment