You know when all the little out of control things that alone are passable but as each one starts piling up, it builds this blockage that all of a sudden bursts. Usually it would cause me to explode and damage those around me. Adulting is hard yall! Yet God is showing me that I have to start being more decisive in my actions and thought processes. When something runs the same pattern over and over, it wears out its surroundings. It chisels and makes almost permanent stuff that most likely really shouldn't be. I see now that renewing your mind and seeking to have the mindset of JESUS is the only way that has worked best so far. I have tried my way, which was really the world's way because I was trying so hard just to fit somewhere in it. When I did that, utter chaos and pipes bursting errwhere! I just felt like I could never function properly with other people and I cared so much more than I acted like I did about it. The selfish things I would do would consequently cause the most pain. Looking back, my self hate has tried so many times to consume me. Then I suspect it manifested into a strange illness that has plagued me for long enough. I lost so much but learned plenty. Now I force myself to stop and remember all that I lost so that I can be content with all that I have. So when the Jeep ac dies, the drama is dramatic, the house is showing our lack of love and commitment, I remember I had more when I thought I had lost. I am blessed with a man with a heart for JESUS, a wonderful home and the strength to still make the most out of the situation we're in.
The LORD is my Shepherd I lack nothing.
JEHOVA JIREH
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