Back on the Road to Recovery - Scleroderma Awareness

Had the first set of injections to treat my arthritis.  So far so good I must say! :D I feel a lot better than I did when I was receiving the Cytoxan treatments. No nausea but a little bit of drowsiness. I'm even getting a better appetite! I really hope this new treatment of Rytuxan will replace the Prednisone. I can't wait to be completely done with the Prednisone. There are too many side effects involved. It seems like there won't be much side effects with the Rytuxan. I am just so grateful to be able to get out and stay out of my bed! I love that I can do more for myself now than I was just a few weeks ago. I don't know just how much I will be able to do but I have to be careful not to overdo. That is something I always struggle with. Even now I'm already pushing my body to the limits just because I can. I just can't help it. My mind and heart are just too much for my body to keep up with. That constant resistance creates so much frustration which leads to anger. Just like today, I was fixing up my little hangout area out on my porch and all of a sudden my left hand starts to give me problems. I'm wondering if its the medicine running its course through my body and I'm not giving myself a chance to heal. I just can't stop moving though. I fear if I do, I'll get frozen in a state that I don't want to be in. Where I won't be able to do all I have been created to do. The knuckles in my hands want to fuse which is the usual case for the arthritic. I feel like grabbing a hammer and smashing them so I can get them reset. Maybe I can get some bionic hands! Maybe I watch too many comic book shows. Like I said before, losing my hands could be the worse thing that could happen to me but a lot of terrible have already happened. Looking back I must remember what my Heavenly Father has brought me through. I believe in His miracle healing and His promises to me. He can reset the bones and joints in my hands. I'm sure it wouldn't be as painful or crazy as my way of doing it! I have to keep calm and believe that everything is going to work out. I'm not going to stop moving but God please help me not to sabotage myself!