Happy Mother's Day
to all the mommas out there!! :D I have to admit it has been a bittersweet day
for me. I have been dealing with this inner turmoil I've been having about
well, not having any children. I just
found out a few weeks ago that I have premature menopause. I wanted so much to believe I was pregnant
all the way until the day of my sonogram.
I procrastinated going because of memories of my past one. Instead of
seeing my lifeless child, I saw complete darkness. I honestly can't say which
felt worse. What I do know is that I
thank my Father God for giving me His Son, Jesus Christ!!! He gives me Hope and
Reassurance daily! If I didn't have Him
in my life, I would have completely given up so many times. He has shown me that this life is temporary
and that the next one is where all the really good stuff happens. With Him I know that my first child is
waiting for me. I didn't get to know the
pain of child birth but the pain I did have is enough to appreciate having a
child in my arms. I haven't been able to
yet but I will have an eternity to never let go! Only God knows why I can't have children,
whether it's because of His Will or because that thief satan is futilely trying to rob what's rightfully mine. Either way I know, trust and praise my
Heavenly Father to help get through this.
After hearing just in the past few days, of all the horrible things
being done to so many children, it has caused a burning anger in my heart! Part
of my turmoil was frustration of so much awful in gratitude for their lives but
not any more. I have come to the conclusion that I am going to do something
about it and turn that anger into a Righteous anger. I thirst for justice for the children in this
world and I pray that God will give me the Wisdom and Strength to make a
difference. The enemy the devil hates
children because of how much Jesus loves them.
I remember when I was younger I would always have dreams of hiding ,
trying to protect or searching for a baby and I never knew what they meant.
Maybe that's part of my purpose, as well as making sure my loved ones get
saved. Slowly I can see my life starting
to come into focus and I am starting to get a grasp of what God has planned for
me. On the agenda is teaching the Gospel
to my kids at church, taking the Gospel to my kids in the Dominican Republic,
then fostering and adopting lots of kids of all ages for the rest of my
life! I have learned that we are all
God's adopted children and whether they would have been from the womb or not
makes no difference. Everyone wants to
be and deserves to be loved, especially children. I thank You Father in advance for entrusting
me with the lives of Your children, AMEN.
He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.
